On Sunday it happened. I had a big tonic-clonic seizure, I was riding my horse at a sort of organised ride thing, and he’d been really strong so I was a bit stressed but he had started to calm down. Then apparently he stood still and I fell off having a seizure. It’s quite a miracle really I didn’t hurt myself more and Mojo was a star standing still, it could have ended a lot worse.
I almost ended up in an air ambulance, I think communications got crossed a bit, they couldn’t find us because we were in the middle of a field and they’d been told a girl had fallen off and was having a seizure… the fact it was the other way round made it slightly less serious… but anyway I am sooooo glad that didn’t happen, if there’s one thing worse than being sent off to hospital after a seizure it would be going to some London hospital in a helicopter! Although don’t get me wrong the fact that they did all that is fantastic, makes you feel safe in the hands of the emergency services :)
Everyone was amazing, a friend from a long time ago happened to find me and put something under my head, my Mum was there and as always saved the day, someone I didn’t even know walked Mojo all the way home. My uncle and aunt picked me up and then a family friend took me home and took Riley for a walk. Rich was there when I got home, with a hug and has looked after me so much since then as well. I am so lucky to have such wonderful family and friends.
So what now? Well at the moment my brain feels a bit stuffed up, a little bit slow and my memory is awful. My brain feels like it is gradually returning to normal but it’s taking a while and I have to admit it is frustrating me at work. But this seizure has shattered a little bubble I have been in. In a way I had started putting the last seizure down to being pregnant and was sort of thinking I’d been 4 years free of major seizures… but looks like that’s not the case, damn epilepsy for being so unpredictable.
I think it’s too soon for me to think about all the consequences. But at the moment with our amazing holiday to America booked for the end of March I just don’t see how I can change my medication now, I don’t want to be on holiday in America either having more seizures or maybe even worse with major side effects from Keppra. So in my brain I’m think maybe putting my Lamotrigine up to 500mg daily and then in April start a medication change. Then Riley will be a bit older, it will be getting on for summer and just be more settled. Hopefully I won’t have any more seizures before then or things could be different. At the moment I’m waiting for the epilepsy nurses in London to get back to me after they’ve talked to my specialist, there is no real rush, it’s not like it’s going away tomorrow, it’ll be a long time before I can even begin to think I might be controlled...
The other consequences I guess are, do I ride again, I mean I’m pretty sure I will ride again, but I’m not sure I want to ride on my own. I think I need to get back on as soon as possible; it’s playing on my mind. And then there is skiing in America… I just don’t know what to do… right now Sunday is still in my mind and it scares me a bit, but in a month maybe I will feel differently about it. We will have to wait and see how I feel, and more to the point wait and see if I can get travel insurance.
I’ve called the epilepsy nurses at my London hospital, I am so so thankful for them and the ability to have someone to contact when things do go wrong. They are speaking to my specialist over the next couple of days and will then get back to me; hopefully by that time my brain will have recovered some more and I’ll be able to think straight. But for now I need to keep going with life and try to rest as much as possible which is easily said but Riley has decided now would be a good time to stop sleeping through the night!