Life with two children
So it's taken some getting used to but I think we are now in a fairly good routine, Riley is at pre-school two mornings and one full day a week which means I get some time with Benji to really concentrate on him. It's still quite a challenge thinking about when Benji needs his feeds and nappy changes alongside when Riley needs to go to the toilet and pick ups from pre-school on the bus!
So Benji is 5 months old now and doing really well. He's growing really fast and weighs 16lbs 8oz now. He's very different from Riley in his personality, he seems to do a lot more thinking but is such a smiley chilled out baby. I just love seeing his smile when he wakes up in the morning.
In the last week he has found his feet and is sitting independently for a few minutes at a time. He can also stand up holding onto things and loves to look out the window like Riley used to. He is also becoming much more co-ordinated with his hands and is able to grab toys and really investigate them.
He also loves songs and actions, he's just really interested in the world and is becoming a proper little person. Can't imagine life without him around now.
Breastfeeding and weaning
So I am still exclusively breastfeeding Benji and I have to say it's not been easy but I am glad I have persisted. I was quite ill for almost 3 weeks, I think I had the flu which then turned into a chest infection and I was really struggling to get enough fluids in me to keep my milk quality up so I just ended up dehydrated. I am also struggling to get enough calories to maintain my weight, the same thing happened with Riley. At the moment that's not a problem as it just means that I have lost all my baby weight and a bit extra which isn't a bad thing but I don't want to keep losing weight at this rate so I will be glad when Benji starts eating a bit.
Which brings me onto weaning, we gave him a little bit of carrot today which he seemed quite interested in and he took a few sips of water from a sippy cup. We're going to take things nice and slowly as he's only 5 months so still early days but he is showing all the right signs, putting everything in his mouth, started sitting up and really interested in what we are eating.
Sleep and mood
So Benji has started waking a bit more in the night, not to the same extent as Riley used to but he is usually up 2-3 times for feeds and sometimes is awake for an hour or 2 in the night. He does however settle himself and sleeps in his cot for naps in the day which to me is a miracle compared to the problems we had with Riley. I do struggle when I don't get more than 3 hours sleep in a row and it does effect my mood, partly I think because I just need quite a lot of sleep and partly because I then worry I might have a seizure and having been seizure free for 16 months I don't want to ruin that. I have also had to cut back on the running firstly because I wasn't well and then because I don't feel I'm getting enough sleep so it's a bit of a catch 22 because running helps my mood but if I haven't had enough sleep I don't want to risk having a seizure by running. I'm hoping to get back to it as soon as possible as still planning to run the 2017 London Marathon.
As far as mood is concerned I feel really let down by my health visitors, I told both my GP and health visitor I was feeling low at my 6 week check. It took them 2 weeks to even call me to follow it up and then they just left a message which I lost and so I never called them back and yet no one ever followed it up. I was pretty high risk having struggled following my first pregnancy and also being on a medication which is linked to problems with mood. It just makes me upset that I asked for help and they only made one attempt to see if I was ok.
Potty training is still on going with Riley. It's hit and miss, and always seems to be more of a hit when there is something in it for her, so at the moment she gets points for each wee and poo she does and then she buys lego from the 'Daddy shop' each evening and the number of accidents has definitely reduced! She's still not great at telling us when she needs it but at least we are getting by, I just worry about what will happen when she starts school. Sometimes I get frustrated but I need to remember there is always the possibility there is something physically wrong because of my meds but that can't be investigated until she is older. So for now we just have to find a way to get by which I think we are doing.
Well I am currently applying for my licence, I haven't done a great job of filling in the form and it's been sent back twice but hoping third time lucky. Part of me is excited to get some independence back and part of me is terrified of actually driving again after so long and also the thought that I could lose it again if I have another seizure... so not quite sure how I am feeling about it all at the moment.