Showing posts with label Adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Adoption. Show all posts

Saturday, 20 December 2014

Adoption rejection

So I told you before we were going to try to adopt, well we are rather gutted as we were rejected based on Riley’s age.  Apparently they like a big age gap between a natural child and adopted child.  Also there second reason was that there are very few children in Surrey who need to be adopted.

We are obviously gutted but it just frustrates me, surely adoption is something which should be a national scheme.  Surely it makes sense that in somewhere like where we live there are more families looking for children than children looking for families, it’s an affluent area… but elsewhere in more deprived areas I am sure it is the other way round.  It seems crazy to me.

As for them wanting what’s best for Riley I don’t really buy it… I know people with children Riley’s age who are fostering. Surely having a different child living with you every few months is far more ‘disruptive’ than adopting a permanent brother or sister.

They also told us it was to do with statistics showing that adopting a sibling close in age leads to adoptions breaking down in teenage years… I would like to think that we will bring our child/children up in a stable and loving enough environment that a comment from Riley that her brother or sister isn’t a real brother or sister because they are adopted wouldn’t bring our family to its knees.  Let’s face it, I think you have to cope with more in life than that.   We’d talk it out and set the record straight.

But anyway so it is our council won’t move forward with our application.  Everyone we speak to thinks it’s ridiculous but there is really nothing more we can do for now.  You can’t argue with them.

Monday, 6 October 2014

Our adoption journey ~ another step forward

We got accepted to move forward with the adoption process!!!  Apparently about 50% of people get turned down at this point.  Now they are not saying my epilepsy won’t be a problem, not over that hurdle just yet but I don’t think they would be so enthusiastic for us to move forward if they thought it was going to be huge problem… anyway we will see.
I’m not going to be able to talk too much about the process I don’t think but I will put little updates along the way, it is an exciting journey but scary at the same time, there is a lot to consider.  I guess it’s a roller coaster a bit like our journey to parenthood biologically with Riley was.

Tuesday, 12 August 2014

Our Adoption Adventure

Rich and I have been thinking long and hard about having another baby.  We want Riley to have a little brother or sister and another child would complete our family.

All our friends are now having second babies and so it is becoming more of a topic of conversation.  At the moment with my medication changes it wouldn't be the right time for us to try for another baby.

So it got us thinking, do we want to go through pregnancy and the first few months of having a tiny baby?  I didn't enjoy the first few months, not from an epilepsy point of view, but I just found it so so hard.

I wouldn't change having had a baby for the world; it is something I think every woman should be able to experience whether or not they have epilepsy.  I don’t want it to seem like I am being a hypocrite in doing all this.  In fact in a way I want it to prove that there is another way to have a family if you have epilepsy.  The fact is pregnancy isn't for everyone (whether or not you have epilepsy) and I don’t think we want to do it again especially when there is another option.

That’s why we started thinking about adoption. It doesn't matter to us whether I give birth to our child, it doesn't matter at what age they join our family, they will be loved just as Riley is and I hope we have a lot to offer a child who hasn't had the easiest start in life.  It’s actually really exciting and something which I think will make our family complete. It's a whole new adventure for us as a family.


We know it could be a long process and I hope we don’t fall at the first hurdle.  I hope my epilepsy doesn't stop us.  So I guess this in a way is a new chapter in our journey.  We've just started contacting some agencies and looking into the process.  We hope we can start the process in the New Year.  So I guess watch this space.