On
the 18th May 2012 my whole world was to change, even before the baby
came along.
My Grandad died, he died at
home, having been out on his tractor the day before, it was how he would have
wanted it to be. I was there when the
paramedics made the decision to let him go, Mum, Paul (my uncle) and me were
there, I couldn’t believe it, it seemed so unreal that he was gone. He had picked me up 3 days before, and had said
see you Thursday… but he had a cold and didn’t want to give it to me so I never
saw him Thursday and I had the cold anyway. On the Friday he died of a huge chest infection.
He was such a huge part of my life,
the memories I have of him are countless, he did so much for me, getting me
places when I couldn’t drive and our chats.
I remember when we moved house I had been so sad I wouldn’t need so many
lifts and would miss our chats and Grandad told me he’d miss it too, but in the
end I think I saw more of him after we moved as I would be up the yard where he
lived more and he would drive me to more places other than just to and from
work. I still have tears in my eyes even
now 3 months on when I write this, he was so special to me, I still feel a
little bit lost
without him. But I have so many wonderful memories of him
and I know he would want me to be happy.
He died having been active up until the day he died, that’s how it
should be, too busy living to think about dying. But I struggled hugely to come
to terms with it all. The next couple of
weeks I don’t think I was thinking very much about the baby, I sometimes feel
bad for that but I don’t think you can help how you feel when something so life
changing occurs.
This is one of my favourite
pictures of Grandad, taken during our Wales holiday I think it shows perfectly
why he never finished the memoires he start a couple of years before when he
was very ill, he had got his health back and was to busy living to worry about
dying. I hope I live like that to the end…
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