So yesterday I had a panic, I really don’t know what came over me as I have been feeling so in control but all of a sudden I just felt so anxious and out of my depth. I haven’t been feeling quite right the last couple of days and I was sitting with Riley on the sofa and thought I had started having contractions… I guess it made me realise it could happen at any time now and I just don’t feel ready. But do you ever feel ready?
I guess I have just been trying to keep such control over the process and all of a sudden the reality that labour is completely out of our control hit me. It will happen when it happens and we’ll have to drop everything and just get on with it. After having had my little panic and then doing some mindfulness I fell asleep and woke up in the night to realise it wasn't the start of labour and everything could carry on as normal… for now!
I think last night made me realise this isn't going to be easy and I need to work on my mindfulness more than ever now to keep some control over my anxiety and not let it get on top of me. Let’s face it in a month the baby will be here and we will hopefully all be home getting used to life with a new little person in it. The process that gets us there is out of my control so taking a deep breath and accepting things as they happen seems like a good way to live life right now!