Thursday 19 December 2013

Reflection on a Seizure

It has been a while since my last post.  I think with Christmas so close and trying to recover from the seizure, I've just been focused on other things.  But I wanted to write now in case I don't get a chance til after Christmas.

So... from an epilepsy point of view.  It has been the first time I've had one of my big seizures and had to carry on with pretty much everything in my life.  I'm not saying I didn't have such great help from my wonderful family and friends but I had to look after Riley and go to work.  I know so many people with epilepsy have a seizure and just carry on with the day and may have lots and lots, and I know I only have one every now and again.  But it takes me a while to feel like me again, I feel tired and down, maybe that's because my body hasn't become used to them.  Or maybe it's because I will just think I am becoming seizure free and then it is all taken away... and this is the 4th time that's happened, I guess it will take more than a year or even 2 seizure free for me to believe it is really controlled.  But then I suppose I have still been having the odd partial seizure so I wasn't completely seizure free, maybe if they are controlled I'll feel a bit more confident....

I don't want to let my epilepsy affect my life and the fact that I did carry on, go to work, care for Riley, makes me feel a bit proud of myself.  I know that may sound silly, it's just one seizure, but it made me know I can do it.  I'm not saying I was easy for my family, I think I was pretty difficult... but I did it, and they understood that :)

My church has given me a lot of hope and support too.  I feel very lucky to be involved in them, I feel like part of family.  This weekend I'm helping with messy church and then there's a carol service so I will talk about the church more after that :)

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