Adapting to life with two children!

I can't believe I haven't posted since January, that's how quickly life with two children is flying by.  So I feel I need to give a bit of an update on what has been going on over the next few months, so here goes.

Life with two children

So it's taken some getting used to but I think we are now in a fairly good routine, Riley is at pre-school two mornings and one full day a week which means I get some time with Benji to really concentrate on him.  It's still quite a challenge thinking about when Benji needs his feeds and nappy changes alongside when Riley needs to go to the toilet and pick ups from pre-school on the bus!

Benji's development

So Benji is 5 months old now and doing really well.  He's growing really fast and weighs 16lbs 8oz now.  He's very different from Riley in his personality, he seems to do a lot more thinking but is such a smiley chilled out baby.  I just love seeing his smile when he wakes up in the morning. 

In the last week he has found his feet and is sitting independently for a few minutes at a time.  He can also stand up holding onto things and loves to look out the window like Riley used to.  He is also becoming much more co-ordinated with his hands and is able to grab toys and really investigate them.

He also loves songs and actions, he's just really interested in the world and is becoming a proper little person.  Can't imagine life without him around now.


Breastfeeding and weaning

So I am still exclusively breastfeeding Benji and I have to say it's not been easy but I am glad I have persisted.  I was quite ill for almost 3 weeks, I think I had the flu which then turned into a chest infection and I was really struggling to get enough fluids in me to keep my milk quality up so I just ended up dehydrated.  I am also struggling to get enough calories to maintain my weight, the same thing happened with Riley.  At the moment that's not a problem as it just means that I have lost all my baby weight and a bit extra which isn't a bad thing but I don't want to keep losing weight at this rate so I will be glad when Benji starts eating a bit. 

Which brings me onto weaning, we gave him a little bit of carrot today which he seemed quite interested in and he took a few sips of water from a sippy cup. We're going to take things nice and slowly as he's only 5 months so still early days but he is showing all the right signs, putting everything in his mouth, started sitting up and really interested in what we are eating.

Sleep and mood

So Benji has started waking a bit more in the night, not to the same extent as Riley used to but he is usually up 2-3 times for feeds and sometimes is awake for an hour or 2 in the night.  He does however settle himself and sleeps in his cot for naps in the day which to me is a miracle compared to the problems we had with Riley.  I do struggle when I don't get more than 3 hours sleep in a row and it does effect my mood, partly I think because I just need quite a lot of sleep and partly because I then worry I might have a seizure and having been seizure free for 16 months I don't want to ruin that.  I have also had to cut back on the running firstly because I wasn't well and then because I don't feel I'm getting enough sleep so it's a bit of a catch 22 because running helps my mood but if I haven't had enough sleep I don't want to risk having a seizure by running.  I'm hoping to get back to it as soon as possible as still planning to run the 2017 London Marathon.

As far as mood is concerned I feel really let down by my health visitors, I told both my GP and health visitor I was feeling low at my 6 week check.  It took them 2 weeks to even call me to follow it up and then they just left a message which I lost and so I never called them back and yet no one ever followed it up.  I was pretty high risk having struggled following my first pregnancy and also being on a medication which is linked to problems with mood.  It just makes me upset that I asked for help and they only made one attempt to see if I was ok.

Potty training

Potty training is still on going with Riley.  It's hit and miss, and always seems to be more of a hit when there is something in it for her, so at the moment she gets points for each wee and poo she does and then she buys lego from the 'Daddy shop' each evening and the number of accidents has definitely reduced!  She's still not great at telling us when she needs it but at least we are getting by, I just worry about what will happen when she starts school.  Sometimes I get frustrated but I need to remember there is always the possibility there is something physically wrong because of my meds but that can't be investigated until she is older.  So for now we just have to find a way to get by which I think we are doing.

Driving

Well I am currently applying for my licence, I haven't done a great job of filling in the form and it's been sent back twice but hoping third time lucky.  Part of me is excited to get some independence back and part of me is terrified of actually driving again after so long and also the thought that I could lose it again if I have another seizure... so not quite sure how I am feeling about it all at the moment.

27 month check time

So Riley had her 27 month check and all is fine.  Her speech has really come on now and she is learning so quickly.  She comes out with things that just astonish me, it makes me think where or how did you learn that?

They talked about squints and we've already had an appointment at the eye hospital because she does have a slight squint, but her eyesight is fine so they are just monitoring.  As for eating and sleeping everything is fine with that.

The next hurdle is potty training and we have now bought a potty training book (someone should really write one which isn't so pink and cringe-worthy!). I'm not sure Riley is quite ready yet but hopefully in the next few months.  She sits on the potty a lot and we have had some success so that is a good start I think.

Here's a little picture of her playing with her train set.

Riley's 2nd Birthday Party

So Riley is now 2! I can't believe how fast time has flown by.  We had a lovely BBQ on Sunday for her birthday.  The weather was good and it reminded me how lucky we are to have such amazing friends and family :) Here's a few pictures of her birthday:

So I think this is a good time to look at what Riley is doing now... so she can run and has literally just learnt to jump.  She has really started talking more in the last couple of weeks.  She's stringing 3-4 words together and you really feel you can have a proper conversation with her.  It's a really exciting time, she is learning all the time and it's amazing to watch her.

Splish Splosh Splash!

Riley loves puddles :) paddling in puddles is a great way to get out and about on a wet day!  All you need is a good pair of wellies (Riley has my old pair from when I was little) and a paddle suit (Riley's was £3.50 at an NCT sale).

Then just find a good puddles and jump!  I think we are very lucky, Riley is a very hardy little person, she just loves the outdoors and so doesn't mind being out in the wind and rain.  Makes the winter months much easier to cope with as you can get out and about just making sure we take lots of warm dry clothes and waterproofs with us :)

TV ~ In the Night Garden

Riley doesn't watch much TV.  I'm not obsessive about it, she can watch some TV, but I try to keep her busy with other things and as we like to get out and about so much it's not hard to avoid much TV.  That's another thing about not being able to drive it does tend to take longer to get places and so leaves less time hanging around the house!

One thing Riley does tend to watch is 'In the Night Garden' as it's on Cbeebies just before bedtime and after dinner.  A few days ago Riley was eating dinner a bit late and Cbeebies was on it the lounge.  If you have never watched in the night garden it begins with some twinkly stars with music and then a parent tracing a circle on a child's hand.

Anyway she was sitting eating her dinner when all of a sudden she put down her spoon and started tracing a circle with her finger on her hand.  I wondered what she was upto when I realised 'In the Night Garden' had started and she'd heard the music and started the actions...  maybe she's watched a bit too much of it!!!

But I'm going to put it out there... what if 'In the Night Garden' is a clever way of indoctrinating our children, maybe there's some hidden message in there and the next generation will be programmed like robots by Iggle Piggle, Makka Pakka and Upsy Daisy... or maybe not!!!

And she's off ~ finally she's walking!

Well she's done it, she's walking!  And now the fun begins :) she's getting pretty fast pretty quickly so she's keeping us on our toes.

It's lovely to see her getting about on her feet and she looks so proud of herself! She can get herself up from the floor now too so she's well and truely off.

I find babies walking so funny, they look so unbalanced and they have to concentrate so hard on it.  I find you can't help but smile as they waddle along :)

I'll leave you with a picture showing how proud she is of herself (and we're even more proud of her)

Nursery ~ finally she's settled

Well yesterday Riley was at nursery and she finally seems to be settling in J when I dropped her off she didn’t cry, well not while I was there.  They said she’d had a really great day and was starting to play with the other children and giving them kisses… she's even made a little friend :) She is now in Caterpillars, she’s evolved from being a Ladybird.

I think it helps I'm now working 9-5 it means she arrives in time for snack, then has lunch and then dinner at at 3.30, comes home and has her 2nd dinner at 6pm ~ so basically her day revolves around food!  I hope she doesn't become a comfort eater, will just have to make sure she's super active.

I think Riley is quite a shy child, she doesn’t seem to like going off to play at baby groups as much as a lot of the other children.  Hopefully her confidence will grow with time.  She’s not shy at home and with people she knows so it’s just strangers and in busy places which I can totally understand.

I have also noticed that her understanding is increasing every day.  I think she understands most of what we say, she certainly follows most instructions.  It’s nice to feel like she’s responding to you even if she doesn’t have much language to talk back (maybe that’s a good thing!).  I guess from now on we have to be much more careful what we say around her.

Our Holiday to Devon

Well we had a great time in Devon.  Although the weather wasn't fantastic we still got out and about, as Billy Connolly said "There's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing".  Riley wore her little puddle suit and wellies and was quite happy to paddle in rock pools and explore the countryside of Devon.  We did lots of lovely things, went on a steam train, swimming (in a pool not the sea, too cold!), explored a model village and saw some otters and butterflies.

And Riley started walking!!!  She's not walking far on her own, she can manage about 15steps so she's doing fantastic :) she'll be off in no time and I won't be able to keep up, then she'll be trouble!

The only problem with going on holiday is we always seem to get ill, this time we all came home with a cold!  And due to that and the change in routine Riley's sleeping went out the window so have to admit I don't think we came back refreshed!  But all seems back to normal now, a couple of hard nights of controlled crying and we all seem to be getting a good nights sleep.  So all in all we had a wonderful time.

I'll post some pictures in the coming weeks when we manage to get them all together (there are bits and pieces on all of our phones and cameras!  But for now I'll leave you with this beautiful picture of Rich and Riley.

15 Months ~ where are we at?

Just a quick note to say...  she's completely weaned!  Last weekend I stopped giving her a bedtime feed and instead she had a cup of cow's milk.  And we haven't really had any tears, I think it helped that our bedtime routine was always: breastfeed, bath/wash, story, sleep so we just took out the breastfeed and added a cup of milk to her story time.

On Saturday she had a tummy bug, (which I then got on Tuesday!) I almost gave her a feed again as I was worried she'd get dehydrated, but we stood our ground, it had to happen sometime and we'd already done Friday night.  So that's it, no more Mummy milk.  I feel a bit sad about it, she doesn't need me anymore!  But at the same time it's quite nice knowing I don't necessarily have to be there every bedtime, I can go out earlier :)

Also in the development news... Riley's walking round the furniture now pretty quickly and walking holding onto one of our hands!  I'm not too fussed about the walking, I can keep up with her while she's crawling when she's walking it'll be a bit more difficult!  I just want her to be able to go where she wants which is why I was so desperate for her to crawl, I know she'll walk in her own time.

As for communication, I think in the last 2 weeks she has really moved forward, although she doesn't say many clear words, her understanding has really improved, she follows a lot more instructions.  She's also started using sounds consistantly.  Like she say "di di" and waves when people go.  I really feel like she can communicate more with us and that is a huge step in my books :)

Words for Life

I just wanted to share a website that I think is fab. It's basically a book website which revolves around the importance of developing a child's language skills.  It is split into milestones and then ways in which you can encourage development for each age group.  Basically full of exciting ideas to keep you busy and help your baby develop :)

While doing some market research for my work I came across a few parent blogs that I thought were great.  This one reviews books (going along with my belief that reading to your child is really important) but on top of that she makes "book bites"... food based on the books she reads!  It's such a good idea and something I will definately be doing with Riley when she's a bit bigger and wants to help cook rather than just want the food and just doesn't understand why it has to be cooked first!

Children's Books For Grown Ups

Development ~ worrying needlessly!

Sometimes I overthink how Riley is developing compared to her friends.  I think because I am always worrying about what my medication might have done to her, I compare her too much to other babies.

I worry a bit because she's not walking, but then she is crawling fast and she walks around the furniture and is getting there bit by bit.

Then I worry that all she seems to be able to say is 'dog' and all she can point to is her head... but then she babbles away really expressively and learns things all the time, today she started moving her hand in front of her mouth while making a noise...

I think I just need to calm down and not worry, because she is a wonderful little girl, my little girl and I love her so much :)

Riley's Development ~ 13 months

Riley...

I haven't really spoken about how Riley's developing for a while.  Well, she seems to be pretty much average, she's reaching all her developmental milestones (as they like to put it) around about the times she should do.

She's now walking with her push along walker and today she took some steps holding on to my hand with just one hand.  She crawls very fast and pulls herself up on furniture and cruises round on it.

She's eating really well, I'm only giving her a breastfeed at bedtime and at 11pm when we go to bed, next step is to cut both and just give her a bottle of warm milk at bedtime.  Not sure when that next step will be... it's quite hard finally stopping breastfeeding after over a year.  But it will be nice to be able to go out some nights without having to worry about being there to feed her.  It will happen soon.

She points at things now and she is vocalising with lots of different noises.  Her main word still seems to be "Dog" but we're sort of hearing more words in her babble and she seems to understand a lot more everyday.

She is becoming quite clingy to Rich, my mum and me... and at nursery she's got attached to her keyworker!  I am sure that she will become more independent but at the moment that's probably the hardest thing.  She just shys away from people who she knows but doesn't know well, like she thinks we'll leave her with them.  She's fine with strangers...  but I know it will pass, it's just a phase.

So there it is, Riley's development in a nut shell :)  basically she's a very healthy happy baby ~ proof epilepsy shouldn't stop you becoming a mum

Switzerland ~ a wonderful weekend away

So we went to Switzerland on Thursday and got back on Tuesday.  It was a fantastic few days away and we really enjoyed ourselves.

It was so good to see my friend Leti and for Riley to meet her little boy Nico.  They seemed to get on really well and Riley loved watching him as he's 3 and so bigger and cleverer than her!  Leti is one of my closest friends, it's hard being so far appart but we've kept in touch for 4 years now so I think that shows we're pretty close :) Nico is gorgeous and he is so full of energy, very clever and interested in everything that is going on.  I hope Riley grows up to be so full of life.

We were very busy, we had glorious weather all weekend pretty much, temperatures into the high 20s.  So we were outside pretty much the whole time.  We went to the lake twice and Rich swam in it!  Riley stick to the kids pool (and I think picked up conjunctivitis ~ will get to that bit later!)

We climbed up a big hill (to the british probably a mountain...), went to the zoo and explored some of Zurich and the village just outside where my friend lives.

I also visited another friend who I went to junior school with.  She is a nanny for a family in a very nice part of Zurich!  She seems to be really good at her job, the children she looks after are lovely.  Talking to her I came to realise that while we complain about childcare in England, the cost of childcare in Switzerland is huge.  Children come home from school at lunchtime so Mum's can't get a job for the whole school day as they have to be home at lunchtime.

Speaking to my friend who we stayed with, she actually pays more in childcare costs than she earns, she just works to keep up her skills!

They pay £170 a day, makes the £35 a day we pay seem nothing!

Nursery ~ maybe we're gettin there...

Last Wednesday I was so sure they were lying to me at nursery saying she had hardly cried at all... she had screamed and thrown herself at Rich when he left her and when I picked her up she was smothered into one of their chests sobbing with big red puffy eyes...

But this week, she still screamed and tried to throw herself into my arms, when I left her (just what I needed when this week isn't exactly going great!)  But Rich said when he picked her up she didn't cry at all which is a really positive step so maybe she is starting to settle in a bit more.  I hope so, it is so hard though leaving her in such a state!  Still a way to go though.

Apparently there's another boy who has the same rabbit toy as her and they both want both of them!  Quite amusing I thought!

Starting to really get around :)

Well there's no stopping her now, she's super fast crawling around and has now started to pull herself up onto furniture and can shimmy along it all be it quite slowly.  She's also got a walker that she can push along.  It was going a bit fast for her on the wooden floors but on the carpet with some heavy books in it (I knew my uni anatomy and physiology books would come in useful one day!) she pushes it along really well :)

I am so happy she is crawling and getting around, so many people said I'd change my mind about wanting her to crawl when she starts and gets into all sorts of trouble.  But aside from me no longer worrying my meds and seizure might have effected her development... it is just so nice to watch her exploring her world and she just seems so happy to be able to get around without always needing me.  It's great :)

Riley's 1st Birthday!

I can't believe Riley is almost 1, this year has flown by and it has been truely life changing.  So much has happened mostly amazing, watching Riley grow up and learning new things all the time, I love her so much, I feel very lucky.  But there have been sad times too, losing my Grandad was really hard, the first few months with Riley were hard, learning to be a mum whilst greaving for my Grandad was really tough.  But things have moved on, I love being a mum and I now feel like the memories of my Grandad make me smile more than missing him brings tears.

So Riley is 1 and we're planning a party for her, just something quite small, with family and some of Riley's friends.  Hopefully it will be a nice day, we've bought a picnic table and hopefully we'll have a BBQ and we've got Riley a paddling pool so that the babies can have some water play.  It should be a really good day, just can't believe it's been a year, time moves so fast.

Let's hope the weather's good :)

And she's off ~ crawling :)

Well the bad news is that Riley was ill over the weekend :( she had a temperature of 39.2 after Calpol and Nurafen her breathing was really fast and she was obviously in pain. We ended up having to ring 111 the out of hours GP and took her into Epsom hospital. They said everything seemed ok so it was just a virus. She's bounced back now and is back to her normal self.

Anyway, while being in just a nappy all weekend she started to crawl, only a little way at the moment but she's getting better all the time :) and best of all she can get from lying to sitting on her own. Alot less picking up for me and she's alot less frustrated :)

Very exciting!

Cutting Out Night Feeds

We are cutting out Riley's night time feed... it was getting to the point where I was feeding her every 3-4 hours at night, we figure she is old enough to go longer than that and sometimes she does on her own accord so we figured we should make it more consistant especially with me going back to work, if I stand any chance of still breastfeeding it needs to be a bit more consistant.

So the plan is she has dinner between 5.30 and 6ish, then a feed at 7 before her bedtime routine.  I then wake her up (or she quite often wakes up of her own accord) at 10.30 - 11pm when we go to bed to give her a feed.  Then she doesn't have another feed until 6ish when we wake her for me to go to work if I am on an early or whenever she wakes herself if I don't have to go to work...

Well Saturday and Sunday night she did this herself, she didn't wake at all but last night she woke up at 2.30am, we did controlled crying and she didn't really scream, she just kept stirring and having sort of 10 minutes of crying then going quite until about 4.30am when she fell asleep until 8am... but she wasn't ravenously hungry then, we had a little play and then went down for breakfast... so it was sort of successful, think we just need to stick with it.

Crawling ~ or lack of...

I know I've written about this before and in a way I know it's silly to worry about it... I know that pushy parents want their kids to crawl first before all their friends babies do it, but I don't think I'm being a pushy parent when I say I really want Riley to crawl.

She gets herself onto her tummy but then just can't seem to go anywhere so she gets cross and screams so I have to sit her back up because she can't do it herself.  She then throws herself back onto her tummy.  I spend so much time just picking her up and putting her down again.  Don't get me wrong she is still a very happy baby and spends most of her time smiling, she just gets so frustrated not going anywhere.

Everyone says you'll wish you hadn't wanted her to crawl when she finally does and maybe that will be the case but I'm not so sure, I already have to be with her all the time because she gets herself stuck on her tummy and thus cross that at least if she could crawl she'd be happier, even if she is a nightmare getting into everything.

I worry that there is something more wrong, that my medication has effected her somehow or the seizure I had at the beginning of my pregnancy, I know it's probably silly and she seems to be developing normally in every other way but it's just always there in the back of my mind...

Riley's 2nd Full Day at Nursery

Yesterday Riley went to nursery again.  It was the first time I left her as I had managed to palm it off to Rich last week.  It was horrible, she was screaming and it was so hard to walk out and leave her.  I spent the whole afternoon worrying about her.  But it turns out she actually had a good day, in fact possibly enjoyed it... she cried everytime the door opened but apparently stopped pretty quickly and carried on with what she was doing.  I am so relieved she is settling in, I knew she would and I know she'll love it eventually.

Not being with her yesterday made today somehow even more special, it reminded me just how much she means to me :) we went to Bocketts Farm and saw lots of really new lambs and piglets, was so great to see her so happy looking at all the animals.  She's a bit insecure at the moment, she doesn't like being held by other people but I'm hoping as she gets used to being with other people and knowing we will come back for her she'll become more confident.