We have spent the past few days visiting Rich's family. We started with a day with Riley's Grandad and Grandma Frances in Andover, it was nice to see them and Riley enjoyed spending the day with them, she started to get quite chatty by the end which showed she was feeling at home. They gave her some lovely toys and clothes.
We also got to visit Riley's Great Grandma who seemed very happy to see her and gave her a knitted blanket (I fell into the old trap of saying how nice something was in polite conversation to end up taking it home!!!) and a couple of cuddly dogs which had apparently been in the house since Rich was little and after a trip through the washing machine were pretty sweet and Riley thought they were funny.
We then went down to see Riley's Nou Nou, she is a very distant related Great Grandma who happens to be the same age as our parents, they live on the Somerset border, so quite a drive but their house is lovely. Rich's family is very complicated, if I have time in the future I will try to explain it! Her son, Tom, is Rich's Great Uncle but is younger than Rich, they have grown up together more like brothers and we spend a lot of time and are close to him and his wife Alex. They were there too.
It was a lovely couple of days, like a little extra Christmas. We have been down once before and always feel very wecome and have a lovely time. Riley loved their 2 dogs Maisy and Poppy so she was super happy.
Saturday, 29 December 2012
Thursday, 27 December 2012
Riley's 1st Chritmas ~ a truely magical time
It's Christmas!!! Christmas with a baby brings back all the magic. Riley was mesmerised by all the lights, decorations and music that was around in the run up to Christmas. I'm pretty sure that was all much more exciting than all the lovely Christmas presents she recieved and she really did recieve lots of lovely presents.
One of her favourite things was putting the Christmas tree up in our house. Before it even had any decorations on it she was cooing at the tree and then the lights just made her stand there with a huge smile on her face. Nanny and Grandad went away to a Christmas market in Europe and brought her back a tree decoration, they are planning to do it every year so she will have a decoration for the tree for each of her Christmas'.
We went to the children's service at church which Riley mainly slept through but I think in future years she'll love dressing up as an Angel or Shepherd, it is something that reminds me of Christmas Eve as a child.
Christmas day was wonderful. All the family together, Rich and his brother cooked an amazing dinner which Riley tucked into (and she ate a left over turkey pasta bake I made on Boxing day!!!) She loved the wrapping her presents came in (possibly more than the presents themselves at the time). But I think the thing she found most amusing was my Mum and Dad's dog, Lily, which is fast becoming her best friend. The whole day was filled with love and laughter and Rily loved it, lots of smiles.
I think some of her best presents were she got a walker and talking dog from her Nanny and Grandad Mick in France, some bubbles and hand puppets and a rolling noisy ball thing. My parents got her swimming lessons which is something we really want her to carry on with so that was fantastic.
All in all a truely magical time and even though she won't remember it I think she enjoyed it in the here and now and that means a lot both to her and us.
One of her favourite things was putting the Christmas tree up in our house. Before it even had any decorations on it she was cooing at the tree and then the lights just made her stand there with a huge smile on her face. Nanny and Grandad went away to a Christmas market in Europe and brought her back a tree decoration, they are planning to do it every year so she will have a decoration for the tree for each of her Christmas'.
We went to the children's service at church which Riley mainly slept through but I think in future years she'll love dressing up as an Angel or Shepherd, it is something that reminds me of Christmas Eve as a child.
Christmas day was wonderful. All the family together, Rich and his brother cooked an amazing dinner which Riley tucked into (and she ate a left over turkey pasta bake I made on Boxing day!!!) She loved the wrapping her presents came in (possibly more than the presents themselves at the time). But I think the thing she found most amusing was my Mum and Dad's dog, Lily, which is fast becoming her best friend. The whole day was filled with love and laughter and Rily loved it, lots of smiles.
I think some of her best presents were she got a walker and talking dog from her Nanny and Grandad Mick in France, some bubbles and hand puppets and a rolling noisy ball thing. My parents got her swimming lessons which is something we really want her to carry on with so that was fantastic.
All in all a truely magical time and even though she won't remember it I think she enjoyed it in the here and now and that means a lot both to her and us.
Tuesday, 4 December 2012
Sleep... ~ Controlled Crying Controversey!
Controlled crying... Controversial!
Well a week ago we were desperate, we had tried bottles, comfort and put down methods, music, white noise... nothing helped, we were desperate! She would be up for hours in the night.
So we decided on supernanny's timed controlled crying, so it goes like this...
www.jofrost.com/controlled-timed-crying-technique-ctct
Have a good bedtime routine - we changed ours a bit so we fed her first then got her washed etc, then read a story then bed.
You say - "sleepy time Riley - night night" then leave the room, if she cried wait 2minutes then go back in put a hand on her tummy look at the bridge of her nose and say "shhhhh" and walk out, if she keeps crying double the time each time before going in repeating the above.
The first night she cried for 2 and a half hours!!! It was awful, but after that she has slept sooo well. I said to myself if the next day she seems really depressed we wouldn't do it again. But the next morning I walked into her room and was greeted by a huge cheesy grin and a happy baby all morning.
Since then touch wood she has slept 8pm - 8am with just one or two feeds but goes straight back to sleep after. We have the odd episode of crying, but we just do controlled crying and she goes back to sleep.
It has truly changed all our lives, Rich and me feel more human and Riley seems much happier in the daytime. So I am definitely pro controlled crying I think you just have to choose your moment, any earlier I think she needed our comfort at night but we knew at this point she could settle herself.
Well a week ago we were desperate, we had tried bottles, comfort and put down methods, music, white noise... nothing helped, we were desperate! She would be up for hours in the night.
So we decided on supernanny's timed controlled crying, so it goes like this...
www.jofrost.com/controlled-timed-crying-technique-ctct
Have a good bedtime routine - we changed ours a bit so we fed her first then got her washed etc, then read a story then bed.
You say - "sleepy time Riley - night night" then leave the room, if she cried wait 2minutes then go back in put a hand on her tummy look at the bridge of her nose and say "shhhhh" and walk out, if she keeps crying double the time each time before going in repeating the above.
The first night she cried for 2 and a half hours!!! It was awful, but after that she has slept sooo well. I said to myself if the next day she seems really depressed we wouldn't do it again. But the next morning I walked into her room and was greeted by a huge cheesy grin and a happy baby all morning.
Since then touch wood she has slept 8pm - 8am with just one or two feeds but goes straight back to sleep after. We have the odd episode of crying, but we just do controlled crying and she goes back to sleep.
It has truly changed all our lives, Rich and me feel more human and Riley seems much happier in the daytime. So I am definitely pro controlled crying I think you just have to choose your moment, any earlier I think she needed our comfort at night but we knew at this point she could settle herself.
Saturday, 1 December 2012
My birthday ~ our first meal out just the 2 of us!
Last night my Mum babysat so we could go for a meal for my birthday. It didn't start well, she started crying as soon as we put her down in bed, guess she knew something was up. We did the controlled crying technique but she was still crying when it was time to leave but just as my Mum rustled us out the door she stopped.
We had a lovely night, nothing very exciting just a meal a zizzi's down the road. Quite surprisingly dwe idn't talk about Riley that much. It was nice to just be a couple again, not that we didn't miss her, just good to have a bit of time to ourselves.
When we got home, my Mum said Riley had been really good and slept the whole time,
We had a lovely night, nothing very exciting just a meal a zizzi's down the road. Quite surprisingly dwe idn't talk about Riley that much. It was nice to just be a couple again, not that we didn't miss her, just good to have a bit of time to ourselves.
When we got home, my Mum said Riley had been really good and slept the whole time,
Wednesday, 28 November 2012
Yummy Veg ~ starting weaning
So, it's been a while since I last posted. Riley is now almost 6 months and by current guidelines should start eating solids...
Well we sort of started at 4 and a half months, only a bit of baby rice to begin with, her first proper food was carrots from my late Grandad's veg garden, brought a tear to my eye I have to admit. She is now gobbling down a good couple of tablespoons of veg a day, she loves it, gets really excited when she sees the bowl!
So why did we start, she used to sit at the table while we ate and would grab at our food and cry. When we gave her some baby rice while we ate she was happy as larry so seemed the right thing to do.
But from next week going to start 3 meals a day and add some more exciting things :)
All I know is she loves her veg!
Love the cowe and gate website homemade meals
www.cowandgate.co.uk/feeding_and_nutrition/weaning/homemade_recipes?tab=2#results
Well we sort of started at 4 and a half months, only a bit of baby rice to begin with, her first proper food was carrots from my late Grandad's veg garden, brought a tear to my eye I have to admit. She is now gobbling down a good couple of tablespoons of veg a day, she loves it, gets really excited when she sees the bowl!
So why did we start, she used to sit at the table while we ate and would grab at our food and cry. When we gave her some baby rice while we ate she was happy as larry so seemed the right thing to do.
But from next week going to start 3 meals a day and add some more exciting things :)
All I know is she loves her veg!
Love the cowe and gate website homemade meals
www.cowandgate.co.uk/feeding_and_nutrition/weaning/homemade_recipes?tab=2#results
Tuesday, 23 October 2012
Swimming ~ Aquatots Lessons
Riley's just started swimming with her Daddy and she seems to love it :) next week they go under water so we will see what she thinks of that.
I think it's amazing that they can just swim under water, apparently until they are 8-10months they have a relex whereby a flap of skin moves over there windpipe as soon as they are submerged!
Here's just a few extracts from the Aquababy website which is who we're having lessons with - they seem amazing...
All babies are born with the natural ability to swim and are perfectly adapted to immersion in water. One reason is the mammalian diving reflex that makes them automatically breath-hold whilst submerged.
Regular use of armbands and similar swimming aids can create false security and confidence. Learning to swim freestyle (doggy paddle swimming) from an early age is far more natural, fun and easy!
Here's just a few extracts from the Aquababy website which is who we're having lessons with - they seem amazing...
All babies are born with the natural ability to swim and are perfectly adapted to immersion in water. One reason is the mammalian diving reflex that makes them automatically breath-hold whilst submerged.
Regular use of armbands and similar swimming aids can create false security and confidence. Learning to swim freestyle (doggy paddle swimming) from an early age is far more natural, fun and easy!
Amazing results and life saving skills
are often obtained in a few lessons. They learn for instance to breath
hold, turn to the side and kick from the bottom, all of these important
water safety skills that may save your babys life some day, making them
less likely to panic should they accidentally fall into any body of
water.
Most babies are about two an a half to
three years old before they have the muscle co-ordination and motivation
required to actually lift their head up and breath above water. So
until then, make the most of it and let them have the opportunity of
early adaption to water. The earlier you start and the younger your
baby is, the better.
Adventures! ~ family days out
I just wanted to add a little blog about all the adventures we've been on, Riley loves being out and about so we've had some really great days out. She is so so good, all smiles and very little crying :) so here are a few photos of our days out...
Bracknell Lookout Discovery Centre
A Railway in Somerset
Godstone Farm
The Rain Room in London
3 Weddings!!!
Friday, 19 October 2012
4 and a half months! ~ what's she up to?
/? g,r1k.ryhvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
Riley's contribution!!!
She's growing up so fast, she using her hands more (as shown above) grabs her toes and can even put them in her mouth! She is so interested in everything, we've been on some exciting outings, discovery centres, the rain room in London, she just loves being out places :)
Sleeping is still hit and miss, she just doesn't need much sleep but getting used to that, she'll only sleep for about an hour total in the day but in a way that's good, she must be learning lots! The plan is for her to go into her room as she does have a bit of a tendency to lie in her bed at 4am babbling to herself and we only get her up as she keeps both of us awake. In her own room she'll be able to babble away to her hearts content. I know they recommened 6 months but it just makes sense as Rich quite often wakes her in the morning when he goes to work too. Plus she's got a beautiful mural to look at :)
We've also tried her with some baby rice a couple of times, still not sure what she thinks of it, she pushes the spoon towards her mouth but I think she's still figuring out how to get it to the back of her mouth...
So all is going well!!!
Riley's contribution!!!
She's growing up so fast, she using her hands more (as shown above) grabs her toes and can even put them in her mouth! She is so interested in everything, we've been on some exciting outings, discovery centres, the rain room in London, she just loves being out places :)
Sleeping is still hit and miss, she just doesn't need much sleep but getting used to that, she'll only sleep for about an hour total in the day but in a way that's good, she must be learning lots! The plan is for her to go into her room as she does have a bit of a tendency to lie in her bed at 4am babbling to herself and we only get her up as she keeps both of us awake. In her own room she'll be able to babble away to her hearts content. I know they recommened 6 months but it just makes sense as Rich quite often wakes her in the morning when he goes to work too. Plus she's got a beautiful mural to look at :)
We've also tried her with some baby rice a couple of times, still not sure what she thinks of it, she pushes the spoon towards her mouth but I think she's still figuring out how to get it to the back of her mouth...
So all is going well!!!
Wednesday, 17 October 2012
London Hospital Appointment ~ not much to report
So we had my epilepsy review today in London. Not much to report really. Since having Riley I've only had 1 very small focal seizure. So we've decided to keep my medication the same for now. She thinks that it's not worth increasing the Lamotrigine dose anymore so 450mg is my max dose. Anymore big seizures and the plan would be to start a new medication. We may review it in a few months as the focal seizure could suggest I'm still at risk of a major one.
It's hard as at the moment while I worry about having a big seizure it's been over a year now since my last one so I sort of feel maybe the Lamotrigine is working... a new medication might not work at all, before I started meds I was having 1 a month... I don't want to put Riley at risk.
Epilepsy is such an unpredictable condition, that's the worst bit and not having a warning or trigger for a seizure means I never feel confident I won't have one. I don't think a day goes by when I don't worry that if I have a seizure right now Riley could get really hurt, I have so many thoughts of what if...
I also mentioned my low vitamin D to the doctor, through my Mum I'm in touch with a professor in vitamin D research so I'm waiting for her to e-mail me back, I've asked her so many questions, that I've wanted to ask for so long but GPs have always just said go in the sun more. My epilepsy specialist was really interested in knowing what this lady says to me as she admitted they are not sure exactly what levels etc are of concern. You always know a good doctor when they can admit when they don't know something. So watch this space...
It's hard as at the moment while I worry about having a big seizure it's been over a year now since my last one so I sort of feel maybe the Lamotrigine is working... a new medication might not work at all, before I started meds I was having 1 a month... I don't want to put Riley at risk.
Epilepsy is such an unpredictable condition, that's the worst bit and not having a warning or trigger for a seizure means I never feel confident I won't have one. I don't think a day goes by when I don't worry that if I have a seizure right now Riley could get really hurt, I have so many thoughts of what if...
I also mentioned my low vitamin D to the doctor, through my Mum I'm in touch with a professor in vitamin D research so I'm waiting for her to e-mail me back, I've asked her so many questions, that I've wanted to ask for so long but GPs have always just said go in the sun more. My epilepsy specialist was really interested in knowing what this lady says to me as she admitted they are not sure exactly what levels etc are of concern. You always know a good doctor when they can admit when they don't know something. So watch this space...
Tuesday, 16 October 2012
AA Mum to the rescue!!! ~ push chair flat tyre!
Panic!!! Got a puncture in the buggy today, was a good 45minutes from home... I tried to pick it up that side but was pretty sure I couldn't get it home. They should have AA for buggy's, needed a replacement vehicle!
Super Mum to the rescue, saved me, not only did she pick the car seat up from home before picking us up but she brought lunch and then took us out for a lovely walk :)
I am so lucky to have such a wonderful Mum.
Super Mum to the rescue, saved me, not only did she pick the car seat up from home before picking us up but she brought lunch and then took us out for a lovely walk :)
I am so lucky to have such a wonderful Mum.
Friday, 5 October 2012
God in our lives... ~ the issue of Christening
I was brought up Church of England, my junior school was a really positive experience from a Christian point of view, we used to have Chapel on a Friday and lessons were very much praising God for what we have.
Rich is really supportive of Riley and me getting involved in a church, he wants Riley to experience Christianity so she can make up her own mind what she believes.
Since then religion has become a bit daunting for me. I see God as a force to do good... we went to our local CofE church a few weeks back, I didn't feel very included and then they all had tea and didn't offer me one, I know it sounds petty and silly but who does that? I just didn't feel welcome.
We have also choosen 3people we want to be key people in her life... Dan and Nikki (Rich's brother and my sister who happen to also be a couple!) who would bring Riley up if anything happened to us and Emma who helped deliver her and has been my friend since we were 2. However Nikki and Dan don't believe... when I explained this to the people at the church when they asked me about Christening her, they said to choose other people... who else do we choose, I know if Nikki and Dan brought up Riley they would encourage her involvement in church as they know that's what I want... but in the church's eyes that isn't enough...
So it got me thinking, what do I want for Riley, I want her to experience Christianity in a positive way... why is Christening important? Well it's not important to me, I came to realise it's only important to other people and at the end of the day we're bringing up Riley...
Why do I mention Christening in this light, well we've sort of fallen into a fellowship community church we've been to a couple of Sundays now, it was so upbeat, positive and relaxed, they are all about being a family and believing in god to do positive things in the community, they run lots of youth groups and generally try to make a difference in society... but they don't do Christenings they do declarations to God, which are much less formal, more of a promise that the church will be there for them, but gives the child a chance to make there own mind up.
But we do want these key people in her life to be somehow highlighted, so we've been looking into naming ceremonies. They look great, you can personalise them so add your own songs, poems and readings. You can chose people to be "important people" and can add tributes to people who can't be there so would be great to mention our grandads who died around when Riley was born...
We don't want to upset anyone but to me this plan makes sense and meets all the things we want for Riley :)
Rich is really supportive of Riley and me getting involved in a church, he wants Riley to experience Christianity so she can make up her own mind what she believes.
Since then religion has become a bit daunting for me. I see God as a force to do good... we went to our local CofE church a few weeks back, I didn't feel very included and then they all had tea and didn't offer me one, I know it sounds petty and silly but who does that? I just didn't feel welcome.
We have also choosen 3people we want to be key people in her life... Dan and Nikki (Rich's brother and my sister who happen to also be a couple!) who would bring Riley up if anything happened to us and Emma who helped deliver her and has been my friend since we were 2. However Nikki and Dan don't believe... when I explained this to the people at the church when they asked me about Christening her, they said to choose other people... who else do we choose, I know if Nikki and Dan brought up Riley they would encourage her involvement in church as they know that's what I want... but in the church's eyes that isn't enough...
So it got me thinking, what do I want for Riley, I want her to experience Christianity in a positive way... why is Christening important? Well it's not important to me, I came to realise it's only important to other people and at the end of the day we're bringing up Riley...
Why do I mention Christening in this light, well we've sort of fallen into a fellowship community church we've been to a couple of Sundays now, it was so upbeat, positive and relaxed, they are all about being a family and believing in god to do positive things in the community, they run lots of youth groups and generally try to make a difference in society... but they don't do Christenings they do declarations to God, which are much less formal, more of a promise that the church will be there for them, but gives the child a chance to make there own mind up.
But we do want these key people in her life to be somehow highlighted, so we've been looking into naming ceremonies. They look great, you can personalise them so add your own songs, poems and readings. You can chose people to be "important people" and can add tributes to people who can't be there so would be great to mention our grandads who died around when Riley was born...
We don't want to upset anyone but to me this plan makes sense and meets all the things we want for Riley :)
Sunday, 30 September 2012
1 year since my last major seizure....
So it's been a whole year since my last Tonic-Clonic seizure, I've had quite a few focal seizure but only a couple of small ones since Riley's arrived which a miracle really considering the lack of sleep.
For most people 1year is a hurdle overcome, for me it is scary, it's usually a year between my seizures, I find myself thinking a lot about what if I have a seizure right now. I have had Riley in her carrier a few times recently and found myself worrying, on the whole I try not to think about it but just recently I find myself worrying more.
I also have the decision to make about medication, 450mg Lamotrigine puts the chance of birth defects in a baby to 6% (according to the research on epilepsy action's website), so if we want to have another baby the risks are far greater... so do we try something else, but then the risks of more seizures are high till we get the dose right... that would put Riley at risk...
So at the moment the Jury's out, but I think right now Riley is the priority, another baby can wait but at the moment all I want to do is do everything I can to keep Riley safe while giving her all the best experiences I can in life.
For most people 1year is a hurdle overcome, for me it is scary, it's usually a year between my seizures, I find myself thinking a lot about what if I have a seizure right now. I have had Riley in her carrier a few times recently and found myself worrying, on the whole I try not to think about it but just recently I find myself worrying more.
I also have the decision to make about medication, 450mg Lamotrigine puts the chance of birth defects in a baby to 6% (according to the research on epilepsy action's website), so if we want to have another baby the risks are far greater... so do we try something else, but then the risks of more seizures are high till we get the dose right... that would put Riley at risk...
So at the moment the Jury's out, but I think right now Riley is the priority, another baby can wait but at the moment all I want to do is do everything I can to keep Riley safe while giving her all the best experiences I can in life.
17 weeks ~ standing up
I find it amazing how much Riley changes everyday, the last few days she has been really giggling, today we popped into work and she was just so smiley. I feel very lucky that she is so alert and interested in everything. Even if it does mean she doesn't sleep very much and needs a lot of entertaining. But have got lots of tricks up my sleeve - sensory box, tummy time activities and long long walks even in the pouring rain (and together with breast feeding I've shifted the baby weight!)
She's started looking at things and really studying them, she's found her feet and Yesterday she put her feet up on the bar of her buggy really purposefully. It's all the little things that make me realise how much she's changing and growing up so fast. The most moving thing this week is she can stand up at the window on her own holding onto the sofa :)
She's started looking at things and really studying them, she's found her feet and Yesterday she put her feet up on the bar of her buggy really purposefully. It's all the little things that make me realise how much she's changing and growing up so fast. The most moving thing this week is she can stand up at the window on her own holding onto the sofa :)
Sunday, 23 September 2012
16 weeks ~ giggles
Riley's 16weeks today! Time has just flown by. Today we went to the Aquarium in Brighton, Riley seemed to love it. All the colours, lights and fish moving around. We went on the pier after too, in the pouring rain, but Riley was fine in her little bubble of a buggy.
She's started giggling this week and is much more interested in the world. We went to the nest baby group on Thursday, Riley was sitting opposite another little girl and seemed to be really looking at her. She really is amazing and so good, she smiles and is so alert and happy so much of the time. She is also getting very strong standing up and looking out the window while holding onto the sofa!
Her sleep is still a little hit and miss, but she's sleeping in her own big cot now which is good and seems a bit better, taking less time to settle, but still away to go but we're testing there :)
Thursday, 6 September 2012
Sleep... ~ a massive issue at the moment
Sleep seems to be one of the biggest issues when it comes to babies and one of the hot topics at the baby groups I go to...
Everyone expects to have sleepless nights and you idea of a good nights sleep definately changes when you have a baby.
There is no right and wrong and no easy way to get into a routine and especially when lack of sleep can trigger seizures it obviously an important issue. But there is no quick fix it's just important to have some help, Rich and me work as a team, I feed her and if she doesn't settle after Rich will try to get her off to sleep.
A bottle before bed can often help them sleep better but I have persisted with breast feeding (which does mean she won't sleep through the night, needing 1-2 feeds) and touch wood haven't had any seizures so I will continue. I think things are getting better but it is difficult to see the improvements... one of the things she is really bad with is she just won't settle herself, we have tried dummies, mobiles, music - the only way she falls asleep is rocking in our arms and then being placed down quietly but often she just wakes up... I am hoping it gets better.
Bedtimes are another issue... to begin with she went to bed with us at 10-11ish but as she's got bigger it's moved earlier and now we start our bedtime routine at 7ish, wash/bath, feed and story, bed! Only problem with that is Rich doesn't get in from work sometimes before she's asleep. Then if he gets up for her in the night she becomes wide awake smiling and babbling away to him!
The other issue we need to address is moving her into her big cot... at the moment she is in a carry cot but she's getting pretty big in it. We keep saying when she sleeps well in that we'll move her into the big cot, but I think we might just need to bite the bullet and go for it! Also I'm thinking a lunchtime nap might help so maybe if she's in her big cot at night I could try to settle her in her travel cot downstairs in the day so I don't have to keep putting her in her car seat to go up and down the stairs...
It's a plan, we will see what happens... watch this spacce!
Everyone expects to have sleepless nights and you idea of a good nights sleep definately changes when you have a baby.
There is no right and wrong and no easy way to get into a routine and especially when lack of sleep can trigger seizures it obviously an important issue. But there is no quick fix it's just important to have some help, Rich and me work as a team, I feed her and if she doesn't settle after Rich will try to get her off to sleep.
A bottle before bed can often help them sleep better but I have persisted with breast feeding (which does mean she won't sleep through the night, needing 1-2 feeds) and touch wood haven't had any seizures so I will continue. I think things are getting better but it is difficult to see the improvements... one of the things she is really bad with is she just won't settle herself, we have tried dummies, mobiles, music - the only way she falls asleep is rocking in our arms and then being placed down quietly but often she just wakes up... I am hoping it gets better.
Bedtimes are another issue... to begin with she went to bed with us at 10-11ish but as she's got bigger it's moved earlier and now we start our bedtime routine at 7ish, wash/bath, feed and story, bed! Only problem with that is Rich doesn't get in from work sometimes before she's asleep. Then if he gets up for her in the night she becomes wide awake smiling and babbling away to him!
The other issue we need to address is moving her into her big cot... at the moment she is in a carry cot but she's getting pretty big in it. We keep saying when she sleeps well in that we'll move her into the big cot, but I think we might just need to bite the bullet and go for it! Also I'm thinking a lunchtime nap might help so maybe if she's in her big cot at night I could try to settle her in her travel cot downstairs in the day so I don't have to keep putting her in her car seat to go up and down the stairs...
It's a plan, we will see what happens... watch this spacce!
Wednesday, 5 September 2012
Start of up-to-date blog : 13 weeks
Up until now my blog has been looking back on my pregnancy and the first 3 months of Riley's life, now I am going to write about my life as a mum as I go along...
Riley is now 13weeks, what can I say abour her... she smiles lots, babbles away to us, likes to stand up while being held, lies on her tummy lots. To me she is amazing in every way. From now on my blog will follow our life as a little family and following Riley's development. I will also write about my epilepsy, and how it impacts on my life and life as a mum.
So... week 13
Last weekend we went to the paralympics, we saw wheelchair basketball on Saturday and equestrian dressage on Monday. Riley was on the most part a star, she is very inquisative and was really happy to watch everyone and take in the atmosphere (which was amazing, everyone was so friendly and enthusiastic) we even got to see Natasha Baker win Gold and got to stand to the National Anthem at the medal ceremony... amazing. We were a bit worried about the noise so we got her the rather fetching ear defenders pictured below! She actually didn't mind the noise but we thought we should put them on to protect her little ears. All the volunteers were amazing, so baby friendly... from the man on the gate at our local station who gave us a map and explained ther best route to keep moving and away from the crowds, to the lady who hustled us into the shade, finding us a chair so we didn't have to que in the hot sun! It was amazing!
I think however it may have been a bit over stimulating for a little person as she really wouldn't settle to sleep after, but it was a once in a lifetime oppertunity so we had to do it and now we can say to Riley you were there. It was also very hot at the dressage, over the day we stripped layers off until by the time we got off the train she was just in a nappy!
Another very useful piece of equipment for going to busy places where it's just not practical to take a push chair... a Moby Wrap, from an epilepsy point of view it may hold some risk but from a practical point of view it was great she loved it as she could see out more than in her other carrier... weighing up the risks is one of those things that you have to do with epilepsy. You just never know when a seizure might happen but you can't spend your whole life avoiding everything just in case...
Riley is now 13weeks, what can I say abour her... she smiles lots, babbles away to us, likes to stand up while being held, lies on her tummy lots. To me she is amazing in every way. From now on my blog will follow our life as a little family and following Riley's development. I will also write about my epilepsy, and how it impacts on my life and life as a mum.
So... week 13
Last weekend we went to the paralympics, we saw wheelchair basketball on Saturday and equestrian dressage on Monday. Riley was on the most part a star, she is very inquisative and was really happy to watch everyone and take in the atmosphere (which was amazing, everyone was so friendly and enthusiastic) we even got to see Natasha Baker win Gold and got to stand to the National Anthem at the medal ceremony... amazing. We were a bit worried about the noise so we got her the rather fetching ear defenders pictured below! She actually didn't mind the noise but we thought we should put them on to protect her little ears. All the volunteers were amazing, so baby friendly... from the man on the gate at our local station who gave us a map and explained ther best route to keep moving and away from the crowds, to the lady who hustled us into the shade, finding us a chair so we didn't have to que in the hot sun! It was amazing!
I think however it may have been a bit over stimulating for a little person as she really wouldn't settle to sleep after, but it was a once in a lifetime oppertunity so we had to do it and now we can say to Riley you were there. It was also very hot at the dressage, over the day we stripped layers off until by the time we got off the train she was just in a nappy!
Another very useful piece of equipment for going to busy places where it's just not practical to take a push chair... a Moby Wrap, from an epilepsy point of view it may hold some risk but from a practical point of view it was great she loved it as she could see out more than in her other carrier... weighing up the risks is one of those things that you have to do with epilepsy. You just never know when a seizure might happen but you can't spend your whole life avoiding everything just in case...
Memorable pregnancy moments
One of the most amazing part of
every pregnancy I think for most people is seeing that first scan, it makes it
all real, up until that point I didn’t quite believe it, I thought I was just
going to feel groggy for the rest of my life!
I also loved hearing baby’s heart beat at every check-up, midwives are
definitely better at giving you time to listen to it than most doctors!
Feeling the baby move is
incredible, I didn’t find the first few movements were much, but as she grew
being able to see a hand or foot sticking out was amazing. I remember one day sitting on the floor at
work with a child and the clown doctor was making him a balloon animal,
suddenly the balloon popped, the child jumped, I jumped but most amazingly my
baby in my tummy jumped, it made me realise that I had a little life forming
inside me, made me treasure it even more.
A strange memorable moment during
my pregnancy was liking chocolate again… sounds strange but the main reason I
took a pregnancy test was I couldn’t face chocolate just like my Mum couldn’t
when she was pregnant with me. For a
chocoholic that was very strange, I remember sitting at a Christmas dinner
watching everyone eat chocolate fondants and feeling very strange because I
knew I should want one, but couldn’t face one!
Then sometime after 20weeks I started enjoying eating chocolate again,
yum,yum!
The first proper cuddle with your
baby is amazing, we didn’t get a proper cuddle for a couple of hours, just a
quick one in theatre which I only vaguely remember, as we were neither of us
very well after delivery. But that first
proper cuddle when everything was calm again… I remember my friend carrying her
in to me (as she was a student midwife and had helped deliver Riley!) that
first proper cuddle and starting to feed her I will never forget.
Lastly, something I wish someone
had been honest enough to tell me, and which I think is important to
acknowledge otherwise I think a lot of new mothers feel something is
wrong. The everlasting bond people talk
about doesn’t usually occur straight away… I loved Riley so much and wanted to
provide for her, but I remember feeling so bad when the midwife came the first
night and asked if I wanted her to take her for a bit, feeling relieved, I was
exhausted. But the bond built over the
first few weeks, when she gave her first proper cheesy grin I knew I’d do
anything for her. Just don’t feel bad if
the feeling isn’t there straight away, it will come, motherhood is a huge
change, it takes time to get used to and time to get to know each other, with
or without epilepsy.
Now 12 weeks on I love being a
mum, watching Riley learn new things all the time is amazing. I love her so
much. We are a proper little family.
Impact of epilepsy as a new mum
Early on in my pregnancy I saw my
epilepsy nurse, he was very supportive and we discussed being a Mum with
epilepsy. He said that although I don’t
get a warning before my seizures they are very infrequent so the risks to the
baby are reasonably low. He made it
clear it is important to remember you are a Mum who happens to have epilepsy,
not someone with epilepsy who happens to be a mum. While it is important to take as many safety
precautions as possible you need to be practical and be a Mum.
Another important thing I found
was to work with your partner. My
husband and me are a little team, we discuss everything, we’ve come up with
ideas of how to make things as safe as possible while being practical
together. Sharing nights is crucial and
my husband loves having time alone with Riley which also gives me a chance to
have some me time. My husband is going
to take Riley to baby swim classes too, which is something I can’t do because
of my epilepsy but means Riley won’t miss out.
I do worry about having a seizure
while being alone with Riley, but I am very lucky as my parents have bought me
a wrist epilepsy alarm which would sense if I had a tonic-clonic seizure and
would ring my Mum’s mobile. It has made
me feel more confident and makes sure Riley is as safe as possible.
I always carry Riley up and down
the stairs strapped into her car seat. I wasn’t planning to use a baby carrier
as could fall on her if I had a seizure.
However often Riley won’t settle unless in my arms, which both puts her
at risk of me dropping her if I have a seizure and from a practical Mum point
of view I wouldn’t be able to get much housework done, she loves being in her
carrier helping me do the housework and means a lot less screaming so less
stress for me, so a case of weighing up the risks against the benefits!
Another adaption I have had done
is I have had a dead brake put onto my pram.
They don’t make prams with these brakes but a charity called re-map made
them specifically for the pram we choose which was amazing. Lots of people have actually said it is
easier to use than having to faff about with the normal brakes on most
prams. I have also added a harness (just
the sort you get to attach reins for when they start to walk and try to run off)
to my bassinette so Riley is strapped in which, if heaven forbid we were hit by
a car, means she wouldn’t get thrown out.
Another worry I have is finding
somewhere to change Riley when out and about as it makes sense to change her on
the floor at home, so she doesn’t role off if I have a seizure, but doing the
same in a public toilet… not very pleasant.
A lot of baby changing facilities don’t have straps on, so I have
scouted out all the local toilets in cafes and places and now know which baby
changing facilities have straps. I have
a few cafes which have won me as a frequent customer just due to a strap on
their baby changer! It just happens
they’re also good as they give the buy 9 drinks get 10th free
card! I have also found that while Riley
is still small I can change her in her bassinette if I have it on the pram.
Feeding Riley was another
consideration, at home I usually feed her sitting on the floor with pillows
around me or in the middle of your bed, however there have been times when I
have found myself feeding her while rocking her in the rocking chair at 3am just
to get her to sleep so I can get some sleep.
Feeding on the floor is not always possible when you’re out and about, I
do wherever possible try to find a comfy sofa rather than perching on a chair,
or a nice shady place in the park if it’s a sunny day, but it is not always
possible and I have never let my epilepsy stop me or my baby doing things, all
my friends and family know about my epilepsy and so I know even though they
don’t show it when we’re out together they’re keeping a close eye on me.
Sleep… your idea of a good
night’s sleep is definitely re-evaluated when you have a baby, and this can
increase the risk of seizures, something I was very worried about. We had considered giving her a bottle last
thing at night to try to get her to sleep through but when it came to it I
wanted to try to breastfeed at night and the plan was if I was too tired we
would re-evaluate. I actually found that
feeding every 2-3hours even at night wasn’t too bad, I would sleep in the
daytime when Riley was asleep too and now 12weeks on she goes 5hours between
feeds at night so things are getting easier.
My specialist also didn’t reduce my dose down to quite what it was
before I was pregnant to try to reduce my risk of seizures due to sleep
deprivation but this is something everyone needs to speak to their own
specialist about.
Not being able to drive can be
very isolating, I found when I had a Riley it was particularly hard. On a lovely sunny day you can get out the
house and go for a walk, but when it is cold and raining being stuck in the
house all day I found really hard. When
you have a baby you always get lots of people wanting to visit, I remember in
my anti-natal classes the midwife saying, you probably won’t want to have visitors
to begin with… well I definitely used them to my advantage, I took up every
offer of visitors, lifts places, cake!
As soon as I could I found local baby classes, it helped me meet new
mums and the sensory group I attended gave me lots of ideas to keep us amused
on a rainy day. I am also very lucky
that my family and friends are very supportive and all work together if I need
to get to and from somewhere if they can.
I found buses a bit daunting to begin with, but I started by doing a
short hop on the bus and built up from there, just takes a bit more planning
with feeds and nappy changes, but found having a coffee on our own just before
getting the bus gave me the chance to make sure Riley was all sorted before
getting on the bus. I would always make
sure I had her in her car seat if I went out anywhere on the bus, just in case
I needed to get a lift or taxi back if I had a seizure or if Riley was just
screaming too much!
Problems and issues that occurred during pregnancy
I take Lamotrigine, pregnancy can
have quite an effect on the level of medication in your blood, reducing it both
because your metabolism is speed up and you have a lot more blood in your body. My specialist organised regular blood level
checks and my Lamotrigine dose ended up going from 400mg at the start of my
pregnancy to 600mg by the end. My dose
was reduced as soon as I had the baby, I now take 450mg, slightly more than
before I was pregnant to take into account sleep deprivation which comes with a
baby!
I also suffered from morning sickness;
I discussed this with my epilepsy nurse who said if you can see the tablets in
the vomit to retake them, bit disgusting but made sense. However my morning sickness built over the
morning and I only actually vomited after about 9am so I made sure I took my
tablets plenty before that.
My epilepsy specialist worked
with the hospital I was having my baby at to put a plan in place for the
labour. I had an IV put in as soon as I
arrived in hospital with IV diazepam in the room to be given as soon as I
started to seizure. My specialist
recommended I took 10mg of Clobazam every 12hours during labour to boost my
seizure threshold a bit. I also saw the
anaesthetist during pregnancy to discuss epidurals, it was decided I should
have one early to control the pain which could trigger a seizure and also to
make it easier to carry out a caesarean in an emergency without having to have
a general anaesthetic, if for example, I had a major seizure. It is really important you always follow your
specialist’s advice, which is why it is so important to feel confident in their
knowledge, feel able to clarify and question what they say and also be able to
share your feelings and worries with them.
It is also important to make sure your partner is happy with the plan
too, my husband played such a huge part in my pregnancy and labour, he was amazing,
always there to support me, the labour was as hard for him to watch as for me
to go through.
I was particularly lucky in that
my friend (from when we were 2 and a half) was a student midwife at the
hospital where I was having my baby. She
used me as a case study so attended all my appointments; she helped deliver my
baby and so had really looked into epilepsy.
She made sure all the plans and information were clearly in my notes and
was a really good advocate for me throughout.
I would definitely say if a midwife student does approach you as a case
study do consider agreeing, I know it’s not for everyone but it means that they
will become more specialised in looking after women with epilepsy and they can
actually benefit you by knowing everything about your pregnancy and labour
plans, they won’t deliver your baby alone and you can decide exactly how much
input they have. Just something to
consider…
In the end although my labour
wasn’t straight forward it had nothing to do with my epilepsy and after 24hours
of labour and a tug of war with forceps baby Riley Elizabeth was born on 3rd
June, Jubilee bank holiday… (Very patriotic but that’s not why we chose the
name!) weighing 8lb8oz.
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